Where's the love?

Confession time.

I've been getting my bitch on . Frequently, in the last few weeks- a bit hypocritical of me, to say the least, particularly when I openly wage war on bitches.

What would I categorize as bitching? Because I'm too lazy to find my own words to define this, I'll let Freedictionary do it for me.

bitch  (bch)

n.

2. Offensive

a. A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.

3. Slang A complaint.

v. bitched, bitch·ing, bitch·es Slang

                                       Source: Freedictionary

So, that's what I've been partaking in over the last few weeks. The truth is, it always begins innocuously, with no malicious intent. I just love gossip, even if it's regarding people that I don't know or barely know. Sometimes, these "gossips" are harmless, and sometimes, they can be mean and spiteful, but before my brain even realizes what they are, the words have already escaped my lips.

Then bam, I've just bitched about how naive a friend is, or how lazy someone else is...

Not my finest moments.

Interestingly enough, the frequency of my bitching seemed to have increased at a time when my yoga practice had been neglected. Now that I've resumed a semblance of a practice, I seem to have come to a halting epiphany that over the last few weeks, I have been nothing but a massive... well... bitch. There really isn't another word for it, so pardon the repetition.

I think it's because my practice helps me to unwind and destress... when it is absent, I find alternative avenues, like bitching to others because it just helps me blow off some steam, despite the total disregard for the other person's feeling or the awkwardness that the listener might be experiencing. Not everyone likes to partake in a bitching session, and I am not particularly discerning.

My practice also makes me self-reflect. And my recent self-reflection has told me that I haven't been very nice. I think I may also bitch because having someone nod to all my rants just gives my self-esteem a little bit of a lift and helps me feel like I belong. Who cares that it's a little bitchy community that I belong to, as long as I fit in, right?

Here's hoping that realization is the first step to recovery. I realize that to stop minimize bitching will require more than just to announce it to the world, but I'm pretty hopeful that I've made a good start. I know that I have some inner demons to work with (selfishness maybe?) so it's not going to be cruisy!

(Source)

What are your experiences with bitches/bitching?