Thursday, May 17, 2012


Today is Day One of my brand new life. I decided to give my life a rehaul when a few nights ago, I discovered that I had been teeth grinding so hard in my sleep that I had cracked all the teeth in my lower jaw.

This calling is probably long time overdue. While I have not been unhappy in my life, I think a huge part of how I have dealt with past unhappiness has been to suppress and deny it. I really believed that if you didn't talk about the elephant in the room, no one would notice it is there, especially since it's the elephant in my private quarters, barred from the prying eyes of the public, where no one but me is allowed to tread.

And that's where the problem lay. I could see my own elephant, and while I refused to acknowledge it, subconsciously it was gnawing away at my inner peace, disrupting my health.

Recently, I've been feeling a heightened sense of isolation and loneliness. Perhaps this was what made my anxiety levels sky rocket, perhaps it was something else completely. I still do not know what it is that has made me so stressed that it is affecting my sleep at night.

I've always wanted to reform my life though, so tonight, I started my new program of eating healthily, yoga, meditation, exercise and taking time to appreciate everything I have in my life.

Today's meditation session lasted for 10 minutes. I'm still exploring the best meditation method to suit me. I've found meditating to music so far to be most preferred, although even with music, my mind was constantly scattered. I found thoughts of the past and future battling to dominate, and every now and again, I'd remember to be in the now. I felt calm when I finished though, and it left a positive vibe around the room.

So, these are my thoughts on my journey. I'd like to say something philosophically astounding, like it's not the destination that matters, but the journey... however, the destination does matter to me. I know where I would like to head and hopefully, I will find my path there.

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